Hide and seek. Hide and then, seek.

 

By Rupa Mainali 

December 13, 2024

Childhood memories!

Countdown, 1,2,3,4,5,.....,10. (Please hide fast! Are you done hiding?)

Yeah...! (an innocent kid responds, giggling) quickly realizes that s/he invites the chaser in the place where s/he had been hiding.

Also, whenever a child gets stubborn and keep on weeping for any kind of stuffs, s/he is emotionally blackmailed by a common line, "Stop crying, Police uncle will come, pack you in a sack and take you away." 

What if similar scenario knocks at your young age!? As a child one could have enjoyed the hide and seek but imagine doing it in real time at the age of 27 since one and half year!

Don't you think, life is all about hiding past sorrows and seeking for a new reason to make joy a permanent member till your last breathe!? But what is the worth of such a life where there exists just happiness and no any hurdles (being a human, even in a movie of around 2-3 hours, hardships of the protagonists and lots of plot twists are appreciated). 

"To live, village is the best."

"Then, why here?"

"Survive," she chuckles, "and to secure the future of our children. If you live in a village you don't have to starve or sleep empty stomach."

She is not a politician nor she belongs to any professional field. She is a mother both literate and educated if literacy is about recognizing the letters and numbers, and education means receiving knowledge through schooling. 

Gamaa is an epitome of a modern mother who has been playing hide and seek time and often. She is ready to hide and then seek for the sake of her children.

Gamaa  

Six years ago, Gamaa moved to Kathmandu, a city where hopes and dreams take birth together as twins and most of the time, they just disappear as if they were just the characters of a fairytale. In 2018, she started her journey with her loving husband from an empty room of a hotel. They have rented a room in Pyaphal now.  

In Kathmandu, there are two types of people: those who are living their dreams, and those who are surviving in other's dreams. Gamaa explained her daily routine as follows: When you become a mother, things aren't same. You live a different life. It feels like you meet your 'new you' . Well, it may sound like a very common story. But of course it's not the same in case of every mother. 

While sharing her sweet and sour experiences, she kept on peeking like a thief. She again tried to continue and muted herself for a while. Also, symbolically asked to stop asking anything unless she confirmed someone in green dress might be approaching to her. She whispered: "I easily get alert and now it has become a habit of being attentive when I see someone in 'olive green dress', it could be anyone but it just alarms me."

Ladies in 'olive green uniform': City Police

She said, "Not all the city police are strict."

"We are also a human being and a woman ourselves. Personally, I feel like I should allow these women to earn for themselves. But it's a tourist spot. If I permit them then there will be a long line (crowd) which is not good for tourists who visit to know about this site.", K.M.C. Police, S. Bohara added.

After a while when Bohara left, Gamaa whispered, "She is not so strict neither she is rude like other lady in green uniform."

From a daughter to a mother

Gamaa was born in a village, Kalikot. Her parents still live there. She is a only girl child after her two elder brothers in her family. Both of the brothers are already married. Each of them have two off-springs each. She recalled: "We used to quarrel over household chores and field works but get together while going to and returning from school." She went to school. She, disappointed with her academic journey says, " It was not that worthy going to a public school in those days." (Is it today? Has the scenario changed yet in remote areas?)

"When I was 20, I said I was ready to get married. I got married to my lover, Bipin Neupane. Gamaa's in-laws lives in the same village, a day's walk or 3 hours by bus from her parents' home. Visits were difficult.

A selfie: Gamaa with her husband, Bipin.

She continued, "Others complain much about the marriage life. Most of the couples quarrel over small matters. However, it's not in my case. In fact, I am more happier after I got married. Maybe it's because I am married to a person of my choice (laughs heartily)." 

She added, "Sometimes I tease my husband saying I didn't take your last name as my surname. I am still keeping my parents' surname." Gamaa's husband (Bipin) has the same surname (Neupane) that she had from her parents. Her husband is the youngest among four brothers and elder than a sister. She mentioned of the eldest brother of her husband living nearby her room with his family and others are aboard.

A vendor selling grains(maize) to her customers to feed the pigeons.

Once Gamaa  got scolded badly, she says, " I didn't see her coming. I was busy convincing a couple to buy it. She grabbed my right arm and began to give a lecture. I thought she will hit me. Thank god! she did not." Gamma was selling grains (maize) which she bought from Chhetrapati. She got caught by a city police. It was not the first time. She used to get warnings whenever she was found selling packets of grains to the visitors in Basantapur. But this time she was not in the state to say anything. She had no other choice than to be quite and listen.

Vendor being chased by city police.

Gamaa says, " I felt bad that day. I returned to my room and recalled every thing that happened. I kept on staring the wall of my room for a while." 

(Flashback)

Gamaa always dreams of speaking English fluently. She listens to the foreigners with a lot of curiosity and sometimes even tries to copy them. In the end, she ended up in her new job where she is used to playing hide and seek. Things went well with her family. Both the husband and wife left their hometown in search of a better job. 

Three years ago, Gamaa worked in a hotel with her husband. They lived in the same hotel till the pandemic (Covid-19). They tried to continue their job in the hotel but due to the recession only one of them were allowed to continue the work. So she had to quit the job.

Gamaa as "Aamaa" 

"Motherhood changes everything."-Adriana Trigiani

Gamaa is a mother of two, a 6 year old daughter

Daughter (Samjhana Neupane)

and a 3 year old son. Her daughter is a student (LKG) of a boarding school. She cannot even pronounce the school's name properly. Her daughter helped her with it. It's 'The Rolling Stones school'. Her son is just a KG student of Vidyodaya Adharbhut school . Gamaa follows 'mom's routine'.

I get up at 5. At 5:30 (not fixed), I rush toward my playground where I play hide and seek more in the afternoon and not much during the morning time. At 8 am, I return back to my room to prepare lunch. After completing all the kitchen chores, I walk my children to their respective schools.

This does not stop here. I get back to my work. At around 12:30 pm, I prepare tiffin and rush to my daughter's school. Again, back to my self created job. I run to the school to bring my children back to the room and make them do their assignments. I get back to my work and return whenever I feel like going back to room and prepare dinner.

Whenever Gamaa had money left over from her household expenses, she thinks of her children. She recalls her kids' demands and necessities which she had postponed. 

When Gamaa talks about money, she says this:

"You can make money two ways- make more, or spend less. I wish to make more but I could not. I try to spend less which is almost impossible when you have four hands  earning and eight hands spending.

"If I had always kept all the money, I would now have a small shop or a 'panipuri' stall of my own. But I have to play hide and seek that time too (laughs)." Gamaa earns around Rs. 200 - 500 per day and around 10,000 in a month if everything goes well. It's not certain. She added, "We have to pay Rs. 6,000 for rent. 2,500 goes to son's fees and around 5,000 to daughter's school monthly."

"My husband does 9-5 job in a hotel. He earns Rs. 15,000 a month. Sometimes, my in-laws send vegetables and other products from the village. We are lucky that they understand our situation. We have to think of our children's future. As their grades increases so do their school fees."

"I miss my village." She has not visited her hometown, not once, in those six years. "Both my in-laws and my parents come here to visit us. My husband does not get a leave from his job so we do not get time to go for a vacation not even to our own home."

Hide and seek

Gamaa believes, "No one can stop a mother finding answer if the question is about her child." So she after hiding (staying in her room) for a few days, continued (seek) her work again. She says, "I can not go for other jobs because I am a mother and I have to keep on going here and there for them." She again explained about the 'mom's routine'. 

Now, she does not get bothered with scolds, harsh words and any sorts of ill treatment by the city police. In fact she admires them saying, "They are doing their job so do I. I would not try to offend them as far as possible. I just hide myself from them and as soon as they leave, I continue." Gamaa is really good at playing hide and seek since she has a practice of one and half years by now.

A mother trying to sell a packet of grains.

Hide and then, seek

"Life and time are the best teachers. Life teaches us the use of time and time teaches us the value of life." 

Something happened to Gamaa after that incident. She describes it like this: "I became more self- confident. I kept on discussing about the solutions to get rid of the city police with other women who were also doing the same task. " They hatched a plan.

She 'hides' few packets of the grains under a huge sack where the materials required for the construction purpose had been covered up. She waits for a favorable moment. She grabs those packets one by one and then, 'seeks' for her customers. This way she escapes from those 'olive green uniforms' with whom she has to stay alert a whole day. 

One of the spot where vendors hide the packets of grains.

She has trained herself by her observation and will-power. It seems like she has a degree on marketing strategy. She cleverly targets youngsters to buy the grains. She says, " There is high chance that a couple buys maize seeds to feed pigeons. Nowadays, the trend of making reels and tik-tok has also helped in my business. People enjoy making videos and clicking pictures while they are feeding the pigeons."

Around ten women or more than that, there are no reliable figures, sell grains in Basantapur area. Some of the vendors sell ornaments, (maalaa, bangles, etc.), some brooch (a decorative jewellery). Gamaa enjoys all of these acts.

A customer bargaining with an old vendor.

An old vendor succeeded to sell the Nepalese product (purses) to a foreigner. 

Like pigeon, like Gamaa

Gamaa and pigeons depend on each other. Here, Gamaa is being fed by the pigeons because Gamaa is there because of those pigeons for whom visitors pay her. It can be said: "Pigeons feeding the humans."

It seems like Gamaa has learnt a lot from pigeons. 

Like pigeons wait for the right time (whenever they feel safe) to seek for the grains, Gamaa tries to grab the opportunity too (whenever there is an absence of city police).

A mother is a mother whether it is of a bird or a human. Pigeons store the grains in their crop (a pouch-like part of their digestive system) to feed their babies. No doubt, it's a 'do or die' situation for a mother to jump/fly to the get the food for the babies.

Meanwhile, Gamaa goes through the same situation. She risks herself to sell those grains so that she could buy 'happiness' of her kids that not any money could ever buy.

Both pigeons and Gamaa try their best to hide themselves from the possible threats. Sometimes they act like they are taking sun bath (in winter), other time they pretend to stay in shadow (in summer) but both of them have same target: 'maize/grains'. That is why Gamaa hides those grains inside her clothes or some corners of the temples.

Gamaa taking out the hidden packets of grains from corner of a temple.

Not only that, Gamaa hid her as well as her husbands' real name 'Dhanulaxmi' and 'Gobinda' respectively thinking that she is interrogating with 'secret agents of city police'.